


The Bet

by ChibisUnleashed, KamuiWithFangs



Series: Despina [5]
Category: Code Geass, Final Fantasy VIII, Saiyuki
Genre: Crack, Don't upset the Boss, M/M, The Author Regrets Nothing, fruity drinks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-21
Updated: 2013-07-21
Packaged: 2017-12-20 22:01:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/892377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChibisUnleashed/pseuds/ChibisUnleashed, https://archiveofourown.org/users/KamuiWithFangs/pseuds/KamuiWithFangs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You take your life in your hands, or at least your pride, when you bet against Hakkai.</p><p>Rating purely for Sanzo's language.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Bet

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Crack. Lots of fruity crack.

The Round Table was fairly busy that night. Hakkai sat near the back at their usual table, lights dimmed, menus closed, Sanzo doing his best imitation of Hating the World at his side. It was their usual hang out, as it was for half of the city, but tonight was the first night Lelouch had been invited to join them. As far as they knew, the new boss had never been in the bar before, so this was an initiation of sorts.

Hakkai didn’t think too hard about the logic of ‘underlings’ ‘initiating’ the new ‘boss,’ because the mafia hadn’t worked quite the same way since Lelouch got in and that, in Hakkai’s humble opinion, was a good thing.

“So,” Hakkai began, sliding a menu around on the table and looking at the name scrawled in a lazy hand across the top, “Seifer has a rather unique menu for a bar. What do you suppose he’ll drink?”

“Che,” Sanzo tapped his cigarette against the glass ashtray, not quite as irritated as he sounded about spending time with his boss during his ‘off’ hours. If being a bodyguard could be considered to _have_ off hours, “Only something as fruity as he is.”

Hakkai smiled, and that was all he would do to agree. He didn’t want to encourage that kind of behavior, after all. “I think,” The pianist continued slowly, “that he will go straight for the wine list.”

Sanzo looked at Hakkai lamely. “Well that _would_ be where all the fruit is. But I’ll bet the pretty princess gets his first round from some drunk asshole.”

Hakkai looked over at his friend, studying him for a long moment. What was the likelihood that someone would notice Lelouch that quickly?

...Very high.

What was the likelihood they would venture to buy him a drink before the waitress had a chance to get to them?

Hakkai set his drink down on the table and sat up a little straighter, “I’ll take that bet.”

“Yeah?” Sanzo smirked, always loving a good challenge. Although he wasn’t sure how “good” this one was.  He remembered how quickly _he_ was sent a drink from some drunk asshole when he first started frequenting the Round Table. According to _some,_ the blond possessed a few... effeminate features (and he was pretty sure he punched a good majority of those “some”), but Lelouch? ….Sanzo felt damn secure in his masculinity around Lelouch. Skinny fucker put men and women alike to shame. “If I’m right, you’re doing my next clean up.”

The hit man nodded. That was fair. Sanzo hated clean up. Now all Hakkai needed was something else Sanzo might hate just as much to wager on his end. “And if I’m right...” Hakkai scanned the bar, searching for ideas. Something silly like ‘wearing a dress’ would not actually happen, even if he won, because Sanzo would shoot whoever brought the clothing to him, so dignity was a rather important factor...

But Hakkai’s amusement was important, too. His eyes landed on the bar, and gossip from Seifer came to mind. Perfect. “And if I win, you have to take their surf lessons until you successfully catch and ride a wave.”

“The fuck?” Sanzo ...always knew Hakkai was a strange man. Really, if he considered the pianist’s personality, the random wager probably wouldn’t seem so random.

…..But surfing? _Sanzo?_ “Where the fuck did _that_ come from? And _whose_ surf lessons?”

Hakkai nodded toward the bar, at the two tenders dancing back and forth with colorful bottles, syrups, and fruit on demand, “They’re surfers. They teach during the day. Supposedly, they’re tournament worthy. Who better to learn from?” The first question was politely ignored.

Sanzo followed Hakkai’s gaze. Yeah, he’d seen the two bartenders before and most of the time they were pretty damn obnoxious, but they knew how to do their jobs.

Problem was, why should Sanzo give a flying fuck what they did during the day?

“And why the hell do I need to learn how to surf again?”

Hakkai smiled, “Why do I need to do _your_ clean up? You’re capable, aren’t you?”

Sanzo slammed a hand on the table. “At least that’s fucking practical! And it’ll take a hell of a lot less time to do than learn a fucking sport I have no use for!”

The pianist shrugged, smiling even wider, “Then you had better be right.”

“You’re an ass, Hakkai.” Unfortunately, Sanzo knew there was no reasoning with him. So he took that as his cue to down his drink and wait for Lelouch to show his pretty face. “Fuck it. Bring it on.”

Hakkai’s smile did not morph into a grin, but if he had been any less of a man, it would have.

Almost as if he _knew_ he was being talked about, Lelouch strode through the front door looking impeccably casual, as only the young mafia head could. He glanced around before grabbing the attention of a familiar green eyed blond that ran the place, who kindly pointed him in the direction of their table.

Sanzo immediately started looking around for anyone looking at Lelouch. Only _half_ out of habit from his job.

“Good evening gentlemen. I hope I didn’t keep you waiting.” Lelouch was ever so polite when he pulled out a chair and sat himself down, but Sanzo and Hakkai knew better. Lelouch _knew_ they knew better, but Sanzo wasn’t the only one acting out of habit.

“We’d be here whether you showed or not,” the bodyguard shrugged.

“It _is_ a good evening, Lelouch,” Hakkai was infinitely more polite than the bodyguard beside him, “and it hardly felt like waiting at all. Care for a drink?” Nevermind their bet; he would have offered anyway.

Lelouch completely missed the way Sanzo’s eyebrow twitched at Hakkai’s strategic hospitality. That bastard.

“Oh that depends. What does the wine list look like?”

Sanzo slid a menu over to Lelouch. Slowly. Giving that much more time to any hopeful on-lookers. “Dunno if it’ll meet your ritsy tastes.”

Hakkai’s eyes followed the menu as it took five times longer than it should have to reach Lelouch’s waiting hands. He could play this game. “Oh, I’m sure you’ll find _something_ suitable.”

“If not, I’m sure Seifer can get you something fruity enough.” If it wasn’t wine or wasn’t from a drunk asshole, _neither_ of them won, and Sanzo was okay with that too.

But he probably should have thought that last statement over, because Lelouch stopped scanning the wine list to give him a _look._

“ _Fruity?_ ”

…. Well shit.

“Or not fruity.”

….

“....What? Wine’s made from fucking fruit. Chill the fuck out.”

Hakkai would not laugh. Hakkai would not laugh. Hakkai would _not_ laugh. Hakkai would not even _chuckle._ He would just smile, like he always smiled, and miraculously manage _not_ pissing Lelouch off, while cheerfully winning this bet.

“What he means is,” Hakkai leaned forward and helpfully pointed to the list in front of their boss, “that the blackberry and raspberry wines are particularly sweet and delicious. The blackberry is my favorite.”

Lelouch at least seemed appeased at that point and returned to the list.

“Blackberry, hm? That does sound interesting.”

 _‘Fuck you, Hakkai.’_ The message was loud and clear in Sanzo’s glare despite the fact that he’d just been saved from the princess getting all prissy. That didn’t matter as much as being saved from utterly pointless _surf_ lessons. He just needed to stall a little longer to get _someone_ to buy the pretty boy a drink.

“Strawberry’s better.”

“Oh!” Hakkai flawlessly feigned interest that might not have been feigned at all. It was hard to tell with Hakkai, “I haven’t tried that one. Perhaps we should both get a glass?”

Sanzo’s last attempt of a “Don’t take my word for it” came out at the same time as Lelouch’s “That sounds wonderful” and the blond knew he was fucked. Lelouch was even laughing as he closed the menu and leaned back in his chair.

“That should be fine to start with. I can’t think on it properly with your _generous_ recommendations coming at me from both sides.”

God dammit all to Hell. Sanzo resentfully snatched up his pack of Malboros and lit up another one.

“Stare at the list all you want. Who knows when the waitress will come back around.” Because it was a fucking busy night and why the _hell_ had no one bought a drink for Lelouch yet? Sanzo caught at least four lookers. Just his luck that none of them had any balls. Or extra money.

Hakkai silently, respectfully, but _insistently_ raised his hand to call their waitress over. That wasn’t cheating, right?

That was totally fucking cheating.

The young, silver haired waitress with a stern look and an eyepatch was at their table _suspiciously_ fast, and Sanzo had to wonder when Hakkai had the time to conspire with Seifer on this one.

“DRINK?” she demanded, more than asked.

“Two glasses of your strawberry wine. Please,” Lelouch requested, taking the straightforwardness of the waitress in stride. While she was there, Sanzo ordered a refill for himself as well, and then she was off, much to the bodyguard’s dismay. Shit, he should have ordered something really complicated.

Hakkai calmly sat, patiently waiting out his win. He wished there was a way to show off Lelouch’s ring finger that wasn’t grabbing his boss’ arm and waving it in the air for him, but that simply couldn’t be helped. There was nothing more he could do, but hope Fuujin knew exactly where the strawberry wine was in the cupboard.

“So, Lelouch,” The hit man figured small talk wouldn’t hurt, and could only help distract their boss from the bet he may or may not have already noticed was happening around him, “may I ask what you might have been up to all day?”

“Oh nothing good.” Funny that the boss had the sweetest smile on his face when he said that. “Suffice to say that I may have your next assignment lined up for you. But I don’t think any of us want to discuss business right now.”

Not that they rightly _could_ because, holy hell, Fuujin was already making her way back to the table. With a tray that didn’t magically have a fourth glass. _Fuuuuuck_ , was Sanzo’s predominating thought. His only hope was that someone had the balls of a rhino to cut Fuujin off and take a drink to Lelouch himself.

But there was only one other that Sanzo could see heading in their direction, and he was neither drunk, nor an asshole. Lelouch noticed him too.

“I hope you don’t mind that I invited my husband to join us.”

Sanzo wondered if he’d miss the chunk of his paycheck if he just ordered the whole bottle of whiskey. He wasn’t allowed to be _this_ fucking unlucky while _sober._

When Suzaku reached their table, easily able to spot his husband in a crowd, he clamped a hand on Lelouch’s shoulder and pulled him back for a quick, chaste kiss before sliding into the seat next to him, “Sanzo, Hakkai, it’s good to see you again.”

Hakkai smiled and pretended it was in greeting, and not smug celebration as Fuujin set the glass of wine down in front of their boss. Sweet victory. Suzaku had even managed to flaunt Lelouch’s taken status for him, too.

“I’m glad to see you well,” Hakkai held his hand out for a shake, and it was taken in a strong grip. He then immediately turned on Sanzo and held up his glass for a toast, “To surfing?”

Sanzo promptly ignored Hakkai and downed the drink Fuujin had only just delivered to him. He had one particular finger sticking out when he did it too.

“Surfing?” Lelouch had to ask after scooting his chair close enough to Suzaku so he could have a hand on his thigh, “I think I’m missing something here.”

Hakkai cheerfully ignored his long-time friend and answered their boss, “Sanzo’s going to take up lessons.”

….What?

Lelouch blinked, for once at a loss, and Sanzo valiantly resisted the urge to twitch yet again. He was definitely mourning his empty glass. Usually Hakkai didn’t care to flaunt his victories, but Sanzo was just ever so _touched_ he wanted to share this moment with their boss. Fan-fucking-tastic.

“I never would have thought you were the surfing type, Sanzo.” Lelouch was almost _insulted_ that his usually flawless judge of character was off.

“Like hell I am.”

Before any more commentary could take place, however, Fuujin returned out of the blue. Sadly, she wasn’t carrying a merciful refill for Sanzo. ….But the soon-to-be surfing student nearly flipped the table when it became clear what she _was_ doing.

Son of a bitch.

“FROM HIM,” she pointed vaguely at the bar as she set the very _fruity_ looking appletini down in front of Lelouch. Complete with a note. And then she was gone again.

The youngest of the group was not used to being so confused all at once. At least he had his henchmen with him if this was some kind of attempt on his life. He reached for the note and read it aloud.

“‘Ditch the short guy. Come drink with me’...” 

“Ditch the...” Suzaku repeated slowly, almost uncertain he had heard that right, “the _short guy?”_ Whirling around in his chair, Suzaku scanned the bar, malicious intent flaring in his eyes, “Which one was it, again? I have a fist that wants to meet his face.”

“Well if _that_ doesn’t sound like our wedding all over again,” Lelouch laughed. Which meant he would have adored it if Suzaku knocked some sense into the very _forward_ gentlemen at the bar, much like he had Lelouch’s half-brother. He loved that his husband wasn’t a pushover. Even to _him._ “We can figure this out easily.”

Lelouch turned and raised the appletini in the air, watching with a growing smirk when it was reciprocated by a buff blond in an unbuttoned floral shirt and khaki shorts. Ugh. So not his type.

Sanzo would have at least appreciated the guy’s presence _five minutes ago._

Suzaku reached up and snatched the drink out of Lelouch’s hand, immediately taking a sip and setting it on the table, “Eh. Not really my thing, but not so bad.” Four drinks; four people. It only made sense. And had the added bonus of saying a silent, ‘Fuck you’ to the guy who had wanted Lelouch to drink it. 

The intended target of said drink was only charmed even _more_ having it stolen from him and the message it sent. Lelouch leaned over to kiss his officer, lingering there just enough to get a taste of his lips.

“Mm. You’re right. Not bad, but we can do better. What would you like me to get you?”

Suzaku smiled, a playful little smirk, “Why bother asking when you know what I like?”

Lelouch liked that answer, he knew that much.

“I’ll return shortly then.” He took one sip of his wine before standing and heading back to where that green eyed blast from his past he’d seen on his way in was standing.

Suzaku watched him go, then turned back to Hakkai and specifically Sanzo, “So if you’re not the surfing type, why are you taking lessons?”

….

Because that was exactly what Sanzo wanted to go over again. Fuck that.

“Gee Hakkai, why don’t _you_ field that one?”

“Sure,” Hakkai sipped his wine, smiled, and turned to Suzaku, “He lost a bet.”

Suzaku laughed, utterly unafraid of the repercussions Sanzo’s hurt ego might bring, and leaned forward to ask conspiratorially, “Are you selling tickets to the event?”

Hakkai leaned forward in kind, “Under the table, of course. Should I be saving you a seat?”

“I can hear you,” Sanzo interjected, reaching over to swipe the abandoned appletini. No reason to waste perfectly good alcohol, “And I will shoot you both.”

“Through and through in the left bicep, and I won’t press charges,” Suzaku tapped his arm, showing Sanzo exactly where to aim, but just then a loud whistle from the bar made him abandon the conversation and turn around.

The whistle was obviously from the platinum blond Lelouch had been headed toward, since he was now gesturing subtly at his husband, who had a whole lot of floral and khaki far too close to him for comfort. Shit.

“Please excuse me,” Suzaku threw over his shoulder at his seated companions, leaving them to their drinks as he went to deal with six full feet of Island Asshole.

….That suited Sanzo just fine too. He mentally thanked Seifer for the distraction and watched the scene at the bar unfold.

It really _was_ just like Suzaku and Lelouch’s wedding.

“Next time,” Sanzo concluded to his friend as the floral and khaki man went down with a sharp right hook, “We’re taking bets on how fast Suzaku _decks_ a drunk asshole.”


End file.
